So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.
So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day
A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”
disney: attractions to appeal to your nostalgia or flaunt our licensed properties
universal: attractions designed to immerse you in our movies
six flags: do you wanna just barely cheat death?? here’s a 100000 ft roller coaster that goes faster than light
three internet trends i will (regrettably) probably never grow out of:
• typing in a cresCENDO TO EXPRESS EXCITEMENT
• …………..unnecessarily……. long……….. ellipsis’
• puttinfh a typo in eveyr other word to shwo u dont really give a fukc but u actually do
also unnecessary!!!! punctuation marks??????? like…… ??? what is going on here????? i!! am!!! so!!! excited!!!!
and™ totally™ unneeded™ trademark symbols™
personally I enjoy Random Capitalisation to show things are Very Important
can we also talk about starting a sentence and then kind of just
stating something reblog if you agree
dude this isn’t even a collection of memes, this is a demonstration of internet grammar… anyone who says that when you type and communicate on the internet you lose too much inflection to get the real meaning just doesn’t understand internet syntax. the evolution of language in action.
the Rosetta Stone of the twenty first century
Also 🙂 doing 🙂 this 🙂 to express 🙂 bottled 🙂 pain 🙂
or,,,,,using commas,,,,,, for elipsis’ ,,,, bc,,, it sounds better,,, in your head,,,, than periods,,,,,,,
pu t ting sp a ces in your wor ds at r and om time s because w hat the fu ck
Is it just me, or did anyone else read all of these with different tones of voice, volume, and inflection?
Don’t forget the B I G S P A C E S F O R E M P H A S I S
Procrastination Queen 